When i was still studying i want to work. So many wants and dreams in life. So eager to graduate and earn a living and of course dreaming on landing on a well known company, having a high position etc. all of this was just a dream to me just plain words. Words that until now hunts me, its been 11 yrs since i finish college. I chose to stay home wanting to have my own business, wanting to be different from other, telling my self that i can put up a small business. I tried so many timea and all of them failed. When i see some one i knew i try my best to hide or just atat away as if i didnt see the person or know the person,i dont know what to say especially when they ask what do you etc. i feel so tiny i dont want to pretend. I tried to look for a job but i didnt went well the last time i applied was 5 yrs ago as a guidance conselor for one of the schools here in our place. They badly need a replacement because the conselor was bout to migrate in one week time. I was recomended by my classmate who was there registrar back then she knew from the start i have no experience yet but i tried but i didnt expect when the assistant dean interview me and said that if they didnt get any applicant im there last option and they prefer a female guidance conselor. I went home after that when i first to another school after graduation they said i was young.since then i never tried again. Some say tried call center i tried but i didnt make it honestly im not that articulate enough to speak english. Anyways i tried to put up my own business experiencing sleepness nights the last time i had this was last year. None went well i failed until now i am suffering from the dilema it brought me. Its hard its taking toll on me but i have to deal with it. Its hard to be strong.
Here at home when they share there stories at work i just listen i have nothing to offer to them when they about there bonus and xmas party, company outing etc i just listen, i envy them i cant explain the feeling. My younger sister told me that i dont have plans for my self. Walang kwenta na sinayan ko lang i know its tru but it hurts i just keep calm.
I know at my age i wont be able to have a job and i have nothing to offer no extra ordinary skills or what so ever. For now im still trying to find success in business. I pity my self that for a small sum im content on what i earn. Masyadong mababaw na ako
